Ingabe inja yami ingithanda njengoba ngiyithanda?

Namuhla, igama elithi Ubuhlakani Bomzwelo noma Ukuhlakanipha Komphakathi. Ngaphakathi kwabantu, ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo kufakazelwe ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu (noma ngaphezulu) kunokuhlakanipha kwengqondo engqondweni yethu, futhi kuyisici esinqumayo ekutheni sizizwa sijabule noma cha. Lokhu kungenze ngazibuza lo mbuzo olandelayo, Ingabe inja yami ingithanda njengoba ngiyithanda?, futhi impendulo ibingelula ...

Kule ndatshana, ngibuyekeza ezinye izifundo ezikhombisa lokho izinja zethu zinemizwa, kanye nokunye ukucabanga komuntu siqu. Ngaphandle kokuqhubeka, ngikushiya nendatshana ethi, Ingabe inja yami iyangithanda njengoba ngiyithanda? Ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo phakathi kwezinja nabantu. Ngiyethemba uyayijabulela.

Imizwelo nemizwa

Ezingeni lomuntu siqu, ukutshela umuntu onesilwane esifana nenja noma ikati ukuthi inja yakhe ayinayo imizwa kunzima kakhulu. Kokubili ukuxhumana nokukhombisa. Futhi lokhu kunesizathu: singena emkhakheni wemizwa nemizwa. Futhi ungephike umuzwa noma umuzwa. Sonke sinazo. Noma kunjalo, Siyazi ukuthi yini umuzwa noma imizwa?

Umehluko phakathi kwemizwa nemizwa

Ukuchaza nokwehlukanisa ukuthi imizwa ithini emuzwa, ngekhulu lama-XXI, kufanele kube lula futhi kuvunyelwane kakhulu ngumphakathi wezesayensi wamazwe omhlaba, kepha-ke, njengoba uyisihloko esisha (leso se-Emotional Intelligence kanye nesifundo sakhe engikushoyo), izincazelo zemizwa nemizwa ziyehluka kuya ngokuthi ngubani okhuluma ngayo, noma kunjalo, ngizozama ukuyichaza kalula ngangokunokwenzeka.

Uyini umuzwa?

Impande ye-etymological yegama Emotion, siyithola ngesiLatini, futhi ivela egameni I-Emotio, Emotionis, nazo ezisuselwa esenzweni Hambisa (hambisa, hambisa) ngesiqalo u-e / ex futhi sisho ukuhoxisa, ukususa, ukuthuthela kwenye indawo, kwenze ukuthi ihambe. Ekuqaleni, igama elithi Emotion lichaza igama le- umfutho osenza sishiye isimo sethu esijwayelekile. Futhi ngeke iphumelele ngokwengeziwe ekuqaleni.

Imizwelo yizinkulumo ze-psychophysiological yesimo sethu semvelo, ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo (homeostasis), futhi ihlotshaniswa nesimo, ubuntu kanye nezisusa zomuntu ngamunye.

Izimo ezingokomzwelo zidalwa ukukhishwa kwamahomoni nama-neurotransmitters ngobuchopho, lapho ebhekene nezimo ezithile, eziba yimizwa.

Uyini umuzwa?

Umuzwa, kungumphumela womzwelo oqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Igama umuzwa livela esenzweni I-Sentir futhi kubhekisa esimweni sengqondo esithinta imizwa, imvamisa yesikhathi eside, esenzeka kumuntu ngenxa yemizwelo emenza athole okuthile noma othile.

Ukuchaza ngenye indlela

Ukuyichaza kalula futhi kafushane: Ubhekene nesimo esisha, ngokwesibonelo ukuthi imbiza yembali isizowela emakhanda ethu emgwaqeni, ukusabela kokumangala okungokwemvelo kuvela ngaphandle kokuqaphela, okuvele kwenzeke kulokho okugcina kwenzekile. Lokho ukusabela kokuqala, singasho ukuthi kungumzwelo, okungazi lutho ngokuphelele.

Lapho nje lokhu kusabela kokuguqa ngamadolo sekwenzekile, siqala ukukwenza hlaziya isimo ngemicabango eqaphelayo, kwenzekeni kithi. Kulokhu nokuqhubeka nesibonelo sembiza yezimbali, bangaba isibonelo: Kungani mina? (okuzodala ukuthi sikhungatheke noma sidabuke), Ngenhlanhla ayinginikanga (okusilethela injabulo kanye / noma ukukhululeka), Ngubani owehlise le Mbiza? (Ukuthukuthela, intukuthelo), njll.

Le micabango ihlotshaniswa nomzwelo wokuqala futhi bagcina bekuguqula, kuguqula ukusabela kokuqala kokumangala kokuqala, nokuthi kuya ngokuthi kucatshangwa kanjani ngokucophelela, kuzohluka ukweqa lokho okwenzekile, ukukhululeka kokungazange kwenzeke noma ukuthukuthelela umuntu obhekene naye. Lokhu kusabela kwesibili, okuguqulwe yimicabango eqaphelayo, kungumuzwa.

Imizwelo ingokwemvelo futhi iyenzeka ngokushesha, futhi imizwa iyazi futhi ihlala isikhathi eside.

Le ncazelo (yize isibonelo ingeyami, incazelo akuyona), yileyo enikezwe isazi sezinzwa sasePortugal U-Antonio Damasio, futhi kwamukelwa impela umphakathi wamazwe omhlaba.

Ukubopha ngokomzwelo

Abantu nezinja bahlanganyela a ukwakheka kobuchopho okubizwa nge-limbic system. Ngizothatha incazelo evela ku-Wikipedia:

Uhlelo lwe-limbic uhlelo olwakhiwe ngezakhiwo ezahlukahlukene zobuchopho ezilawula izimpendulo zomzimba kuzisusa ezingokomzwelo. Kuhlobene nenkumbulo, ukunakwa, iImizwa yezocansi, imizwa (isib. Ubumnandi, ukwesaba, ulaka), ubuntu nokuziphatha. Yakhiwa izingxenye ze-thalamus, hypothalamus, hippocampus, amygdala, corpus callosum, septum, ne-midbrain.
Uhlelo lwe-limbic luxhumana ngokushesha okukhulu (futhi ngokusobala ngaphandle kwesidingo sokulamula izakhiwo zobuchopho eziphakeme) ngohlelo lwe-endocrine kanye nohlelo lokuzimela oluzimele.

Lokhu kukodwa kuyisici esihle sokubopha izilwane zethu, ngoba kusivumela ukuthi senze ukutolika (ukugcina njalo amabanga athile) ngalokho abazizwayo, ngemizwa yabo, ngokusebenzisa isitho sobuchopho esifanayo ukuhumusha imizwa.

Lokho kumenza akwazi ukukwenza futhi, okungukuthi, inja yethu ingahumusha imizwa yethu, bese usabela ngokufanele. Lesi isibopho esingokomzwelo esihlangabezana naso nezilwane zethu futhi esivela kuso ukuxhumana nazo, sisebenzisa imizwa nemizwelo ngakho.

Kamuva ngizonweba ngalesi sihloko. Manje sengizokhuluma nani ngabantu ababili engibathandayo, kakhulu, ngomsebenzi wabo kanye nendlela abayiletha endabeni. Kunjalo UGregory Bens noKevin Behan. Futhi ngizochaza ukuthi kungani.

UGregory Bens nenja yakhe baqoqa endaweni yokukhosela

UGregory bens udokotela wezinzwa wase-Emory University, e-Atlanta. Esinye sezifundo zakhe sikhombisa, ngokuhlolwa nge-MRI scanner ezinjeni eziningana, lokho izinja zinomsebenzi wobuchopho ofana kakhulu nowabantu ebuchosheni bakho obungokomzwelo ezintweni ezithile.

Ukuhlolwa kwakunzima ukwenziwa, ngoba bekungafanele ukwenza ukuskena nenja ehleli phansi, uma kungenjalo, ukuze ngenze ukuskena, bekufanele ngingenise inja ngaphakathi kuyo ngiyenze ihambe ngeshubhu ize ifike endaweni lapho ikhanda lalilungiswe khona okungenani imizuzwana engama-30, zonke zinezinkomishi zezindlebe ezivikelayo ukuvikela izindlebe zakho ezizwelayo kuma-decibel angama-95 we-resonance. Kwakungeyona into elula, njengoba ubona. Ngalokhu wayesizwa usizo lwe UMark Spivak, uthisha we-canine okunguyena okwazile ukukwenza Callie kanye nezinye izinja eziyi-11, bathole impumelelo.

Ukusuka kulolu vivinyo, okuhle kwe- UDkt Bens, uthathe okulandelayo isiphetho:

Umsebenzi ku-caudate wezinja wanda ngokuphendula amasignali wezandla akhombisa ukudla, iphunga elijwayelekile lomuntu, nokubuya komnikazi. Ngabe lokhu okutholakele kukhombisa ukuthi izinja ziyasithanda? Lutho neze. Kepha izinto eziningi ezifanayo ezenza i-nucleus ye-caudate yomuntu, ehlotshaniswa nemizwelo emihle, nayo iyasebenza ku-caudate yenja. Izazi ze-Neuroscientist zibiza lokhu ngokuthi yi-homology esebenzayo, futhi kungaba inkomba yemizwa ye-canine.

Kusuka esifundweni se- UDkt Bens singafinyelela esiphethweni sokuthi izinja zinemizwa futhi kubaphathi abakwenzayo ezingeni lokuqonda kwabo, kuvela imizwa.

Ngabe le homology esebenzayo ekhona yanele ukuqinisekisa ukuthi izinja zizwa futhi zijabulisa njengabantu? Ngokusobala akunjalo, kepha kuyakhombisa lokho ubuchopho bakho busebenza kakhulu njengobethu.

Lokhu, kanye neqiniso lokuthi sinohlobo olufanayo lwesethi yezitho zobuchopho njengalolo olwalubizwa nge-limbic system, lapho abantu bezwa khona imizwa, kusenza sibe ukuxhumana phakathi kwalezi zinhlobo ezimbili ehlukile ngokwemvelo.

UKevin Behan nokuxhumeka okungokomzwelo

para UKevin Behan, owayeyiphoyisa kanye nomqeqeshi wezinja okhethekile, ukuqonda kuncike emizweni, okusho ukuthi inja ithola ulwazi nezimo zengqondo ezingeni lomzwelo.

Ngokusho Kevin:

Izinja ezisebenzisana nomuntu aziphenduli kulokho okushiwo umphathi, kodwa kulokho umphathi akuzwayo. Lokhu kungenxa yokuxhumana okungokomzwelo okukhona phakathi kwalezi zinhlobo ezimbili. Lokhu kuxhumana kudlulela phambili kakhulu kunalokho okukholelwa abaningi.

UKevin Behan unencwadi, Inja Yakho, Isibuko Sakho, lapho ihlola khona ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nenja, eshiya indlela yendabuko esuselwa ekulungisweni okuphoqelelwe futhi engena ngokuphelele kwiCognitive-Emotional Education, indlela ayibiza ngemvelo lapho ubuhlakani nemfundo engokomzwelo yomuntu neyenja kungabaphikisi bokuxhumana okukhona phakathi kwalaba ababili.

Izisekelo Zobuhlakani Bemizwa

Lokhu kuhlangana, lokhu kuxhumana esikhuluma ngakho ngabantu abathanda UGeorge, uKevin noma mina, kuhlobene kakhulu nobuhlakani obungokomzwelo okhuluma ngabo Daniel Goleman, nangabo izici ezahlukahlukene noma izinhlobo, njengokuziqwashisa, ukuzilawula, ukugqugquzela, ukuzwelana namakhono ezenhlalo.

Ake sibachaze kancane:

• Ukuzazi: Kusivumela ukuthi siqaphele imizwa yethu, futhi siyiqonde kanye nesimo sengqondo, imizwa kanye nomphumela wayo kwabanye.
• Ukuzithiba: Yikho okusivumela ukuthi silawule futhi siqondise kabusha isimo sengqondo nemicabango. Yileyo ngxenye yethu ecabanga ngaphambi kokwenza.
• Ukugqugquzela: Yisifiso esisibeka ekunyakaziseni okuthile. Le drive yiyona esenza sithande okuthile, okusenza sizinikele kuyo, futhi sihlale sinethemba lokwehluleka.
• Uzwela: Yikhono lokwazi nokuqonda imizwa yabanye, kanye nokukala ukusabela kwethu kubo.
• Amakhono omphakathi: Ubungoti ekwakheni ukuxhumana nomphakathi kanye nobudlelwano, kanye nokuthola izikhala ezivamile nabanye abantu nokwakha uzwelo.

Yize zonke lezi zinhlobo zamakhono ngaphakathi kwe-Emotional Intelligence zinokubaluleka kwazo, yizona ezimbili zokugcina lapho ziqala khona akhe ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo phakathi kwendoda nenja, ngaphandle kokushiya ugqozi kude kakhulu. Ake ngichaze.

Lapho sihlangana nomdlwane okokuqala, yethu amakhono omphakathi kanye nozwela lwethu kuyasebenza. Uzwela yilona olusenza siqonde ukuthi injana injani nokuthi yini ekudingayo, kanti amakhono ethu kwezenhlalo azosisiza ukuthi sakhe isikhala esifana nesilwane, noma ngabe singesesikhashana, lapho kuphephe futhi kumnandi ukuhlangana nakho kokubili.

Lokhu kuzosho ukuthi uma umdlwane ungagonyiwe, asiwushiyi phansi emgwaqweni ukuze sigweme ukutheleleka okungafuneki noma ukuthi sibheke indawo ephephile nejabulisayo lapho engadlala khona ngokuphepha. FUTHI kulapho intshisekelo ingena khona.

Kulokhu, ukuphepha kanye nesidingo somdlwane sokudlala kuzodala umfutho esizowuhumusha sibe yisikhuthazo, esizosenza sibe nesimo sengqondo nokuziphatha okuthile ukwazi ukufeza inhloso lokho kusimake njengesikhuthazo esenziwe izidingo zomdlwane.

Konke lokhu kuzosenza siqale thuthukisa ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nesilwane ukuthi sizohlola ngokuzenzakalela kusuka ekuziqapheleni nasekuzilawuleni, ukuzwelana, ukuphatha ukukhomba kithi imizwa esiyiveza isilwane siyilawule ngokufanele.

Lokhu kwenza ubuhlobo bethu naye busekelwe emizweni, kucabangisisa futhi kuhlala njalo, kunasemizweni, ngokushesha nangokwemvelo. Le mizwa ingukhiye wokuba nesibopho esinempilo futhi esihle.

Lokhu kusichaza ngendlela ecishe ifane, lapho ukuhlangana / ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo phakathi kwamadoda nezinja kuzalwa ngokombono wethu, okomuntu. Noma kunjalo, Inja yethu ibona kanjani? Kwenze…

Inja yami iyangithanda

Izinja ziyajabula futhi zizizwe. Lowo ngumbono ongicacele kakhulu eminyakeni yami yobudlelwano nabo. Izinja yizilwane zomphakathi, futhi ngaphakathi kweqembu labo, iphakethe, basungula zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu abahlukahlukene abazibumbayo. Lobu budlelwano bubaluleke kakhulu kubo, ngoba bafunda kubo, baxhumana nabo futhi bazizwe benamathele entweni ethile, ebaluleke kakhulu ukwedlula bona, umhlambi.

Lo mhlambi uyindlela ezihlobana ngayo, njengoba nje nomndeni ungakithi. Ngaphakathi kwalo, ukuhlakanipha okungokomzwelo kwamalungu alo, ezinhlakeni zalo ezihlukene, kubalulekile, ngoba ubumbano namandla eqembu kuncike kulo. Le yunithi ibalulekile ekusindeni kweqembu, okuzoba ngesinye sezisusa ezisemqoka zamalungu ahlukile ephekhi emidlwane. Njengoba sesibonile, nakhu kuqala qala ukusebenza kwe-Emotional Intelligence, noma enye yezici zayo, isisusa.

Ngaphakathi kweqembu, amakhono afana ne- uzwela, amakhono ezenhlalo nokuzilawula, Zibalulekile ekusebenzeni okulungile ngaphakathi okufanayo, ngoba ukuhlangana kwazo kuzoncika kuzo futhi zizoba yingxenye yezimpawu zobunikazi ezitholwa ngamalungu amasha lapho ukuqhubeka komhlambi kuncike kakhulu kohlobo.

Kuya ngala makhono ezenhlalo indlela ye- ukuxazulula izingxabano bazoba njengeqembu. Ngaphakathi komhlambi lapho amakhono ezenhlalo, uzwela nokuzilawula kusetshenziswa kahle ngawo wonke amalungu omhlambi, kuzoba namandla kunomhlambi lapho indlela yokuxazulula izingxabano ingobudlova.

Emhlambini, isibalo somholi yilokho okunqobayo ukulimala kwesibalo somphathi, okuwumfanekiso wegunya esivame ukusiphatha ngaphakathi komndeni womuntu.

Ngaphakathi komndeni, kukhona isigaba sabaphathi lapho igunya izibonakalisa ngesimo senhloko yomndeni. Ngaphakathi kwalesi sikhundla sabaphathi, kulo mthwalo wentela womndeni, kuzoba nomuntu onegunya futhi ovelele, ozoba namandla okwenza izinqumo eqenjini, imvamisa owesilisa ophethe omdala.

Ngikuthola kuthakazelisa ukuthola ukuthi la magama avela kuphi, impande yabo ye-etymological:

Igama lomndeni livela kwisiLatin famīlia, "iqembu lamaserf nezigqila zezinhloko zekhanda lamagciwane", nazo ezisuselwa ku-famŭlus, "inceku, isigqila", sona esivela ku-Osco (ulimi) famel. Leli gama lavula inkambu yalo yama-semantic ukufaka futhi unkosikazi nezingane zemindeni ye-pater, ababengabakhe ngokusemthethweni. Ngokwesiko, igama elithi famŭlus, kanye namagama ahlobene nalo, axhunyaniswe nezimpande zendlala ("indlala"), ukuze izwi lisho isethi labantu abadla ndawonye endlini eyodwa futhi lowo onelungelo lesibopho okuphakelayo.

Emhlambini, izinto zisebenza ngokuhlukile. Umholi akuyena ophethe igunya, nguyena obeka isibonelo. Isibalo somholi, siyakhathala futhi siyavikela weqembu futhi imvamisa ungumxhumanisi ohamba phambili, hhayi onolaka kakhulu noma onegunya. Umholi uyisiqondiso futhi uyisibonelo kwamanye amalungu eqembu, lawo wonke afeza indima echaziwe ngaphakathi kwephakethe. Izinja kuleli zinga zisebenza ngokuhlukile.

Ukuhlaziya futhi impande ye-etymological yegama Manada:

Igama elithi umhlambi livela egameni elithi isandla, futhi livela kwimenyu yesiLatini. Leli gama, hhayi isandla esisho kuphela, kepha namandla, ikakhulukazi amandla ngaphezu kwalokho onakho esandleni sakho noma okuphethe. Kodwa-ke, ngesiLatin, ibuye ibhekise ezintweni ezimbalwa noma izinto ongazisebenzisa, zisetshenziswe ngomfanekiso weqembu lamadoda (ibutho) noma iqembu lezilwane, yingakho igama elithi umhlambi.

Kubo, ukuzihlanganisa nabanye abantu ephaketheni, yize kusekelwe kumakhono afanayo atholakala ku-Emotional Intelligence, akuhloselwe ukuzivumelanisa nezidingo zomuntu ngamunye, ukuzivumelanisa nezidingo zeqembu, kuya ngokuthi zikuphi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Ngakho-ke, inja yethu ibhekana nayo ukuzihlanganisa nathi, kusuka ohlangothini olungokomzwelo ngokwengeziwe futhi ngokwemvelo, lapho ungaqaphela khona manjalo izidingo zeqembu noma abantu abazibhalayo.

Iziphetho

Zombili izinja nabantu yizilwane zomphakathi, esabelana ngazo kusuka ekufaneni kobuchopho bethu, njengezindlela zokujabula nokuzwa. Lokhu kwenzeke ngezinkulungwane zeminyaka zokuziphendukela kwemvelo okwabiwe ngakho, kufinyelelwa ukuxhumana phakathi kwalezi zinhlanga ezimbili ezinezimpawu nezimfanelo okusazobhekwa.

Ingabe inja yami ingithanda njengoba ngiyithanda?

Yebo, lo mbuzo uqobo, kude nendiza yefilosofi, uma ngikhuluma ngokwezwi nezwi ngiqonde ukuthi, ayinayo impendulo elula. Ngabe ngifuna okufanayo nawe? Ngabe abesilisa nabesifazane bafuna okufanayo? Ukunikeza esinye isibonelo esikhombisa ngokwengeziwe, sazi kanjani ukuthi sibona okuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka okufanayo?

Engcupheni yokuba yimfihlakalo kakhulu, ngifuna ukwethula umqondo wokuthi, nakanjani, endizeni yemizwa nemizwa, kuningi esisazokuphenyaNgakho-ke, ukuqiniseka okuphelele akukho. Kodwa-ke, sinezimpendulo ezithile njengalezi engizichazile ngenhla, futhi singathola iziphetho ezithile kubo.

Ukukhuluma ikakhulukazi ngesibopho esiphakathi komuntu nezinja, kungukuthi uxhumano olwakhiwe emkhakheni wezemizwa, futhi lokho kunokwehluka okunengqondo okusungulwe phakathi kwezinhlobo zezilwane nabantu, futhi okuthonywe kakhulu yimfundo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho abakutholile.

Lokhu kuhlanganiswa ngokomzwelo kusungula ukudluliswa okuqhubekayo kwazo zonke izinhlobo ze okuhlangenwe nakho, imizwa nezinhloso (phakathi kwezinye izinto), kuya ngesimo sokuxhuma (uma kukuhle noma kulimele) nokuthi kulula kanjani ukuthi baziqonde futhi baziphathe njengabantu ngabanye, kanye nokunye.

Ngaphakathi kwesibopho esinempilo futhi esihle phakathi kwalaba bobabili, kulula kumphathi womuntu ukuphatha inja, ngoba kukhona ibhalansi esekwe ekuphatheni okuhle ngokomzwelo, okuyisici esinqumayo ngaphakathi kwe- i-homeostasis, kakhulu noma ngaphezulu kwesici somzimba.

Ngaphandle kokuqhubeka, ngithemba ukuthi uyithande le ndatshana ngendlela ebengiyibhale ngayo, nokuthi ikusiza ekuxazululeni ukungabaza okuthile okungavela, futhi-ke, ukuthi noma imuphi umbuzo ovelayo kuwe, uzowudlulisela kimi, futhi ngizoyiphendula ngokushesha okukhulu.

Ngiyabonga kakhulu ngokungifunda kuze kube yisikhathi esizayo.

Futhi unakekele izinja zakho ...