Ngaba inja yam iyandithanda njengoko ndimthandayo?

Namhlanje, ixesha le Ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo okanye ubukrelekrele boLuntu. Ngaphakathi kwabantu, ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo bungqineke bubalulekile (okanye nangaphezulu) kunobukrelekrele bokuqonda kubomi bethu, kwaye yinto egqiba ekubeni siziva sonwabile okanye hayi. Oku kwandenza ndazibuza lo mbuzo ulandelayo, Ngaba inja yam iyandithanda njengoko ndiyithandayo?, kwaye impendulo ibingelula ...

Kule nqaku, ndijonga ezinye izifundo ezibonisa ukuba izinja zethu zineemvakalelo, kunye nolunye uluvo lomntu. Ngaphandle kokuqhubeka, ndikushiya nenqaku, Ngaba inja yam iyandithanda njengoko ndiyithandayo? Ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo phakathi kwezinja nabantu. Ndiyathemba ukuba uyayonwabela.

Iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo

Kwinqanaba lomntu, ukuxelela umntu onesilwanyana esifana nenja okanye ikati ukuba inja yakhe ayinazimvakalelo kunzima kakhulu. Zombini ukunxibelelana nokubonisa. Kwaye oku kunesizathu: singena kwicandelo leemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Kwaye awungekhe uyikhanyele imvakalelo okanye imvakalelo. Sonke sinazo. Nangona kunjalo, Ngaba siyazi ukuba yintoni imvakalelo okanye imvakalelo?

Umahluko phakathi kweemvakalelo neemvakalelo

Ukuchaza nokwahlula ukuba luhlobo luni lweemvakalelo oluvela kwimvakalelo, kwinkulungwane ye-XXI, kufanele ukuba kube lula kwaye kuvunyelwane ngakumbi luluntu lwenzululwazi lwamazwe aphesheya, nangona kunjalo, ukuba sisihloko esitsha (esobukrelekrele beemvakalelo kunye nesifundo sakhe ndisitsho), iinkcazo zemvakalelo kunye nemvakalelo ziyahluka kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngubani othetha ngayo, nangona kunjalo, ndiza kuzama ukuyicacisa ngokulula.

Yintoni imvakalelo?

Ingcambu ye-etymological yegama Emotion, siyifumana ngesiLatin, kwaye ivela kwigama Iimvakalelo, iimvakalelo, ethi yona ithathwe kwisenzi Hambisa (hambisa, shenxisa) isimaphambili e / ex kwaye kuthetha ukurhoxisa, ukususa, ukuya kwenye indawo, ukuyenza ihambe. Ekuqaleni, igama u-Emotion lichaza ifayile ye Inkuthazo esenza ukuba sishiye imeko yethu yesiqhelo. Kwaye ayinakuphumelela ngakumbi ekuqaleni.

Iimvakalelo ziintetho zengqondo kwimeko yethu yebhayoloji, yeemvakalelo neyengqondo (i-homeostasis), kwaye inxulunyaniswa nobushushu, ubuntu kunye nezizathu zobuqu zomntu ngamnye.

Iimvakalelo zibangelwa kukukhutshwa kwehomoni kunye nee-neurotransmitters ngengqondo, ebusweni bezinto ezithile ezikhuthazayo, ezithi emva koko zibe ziimvakalelo.

Yintoni uvakalelo?

Uvakalelo, sisiphumo seemvakalelo ezihlala ixesha elide. Igama uvakalelo luvela kwisenzi Ukuva kwaye ibhekisa kwimeko yengqondo echaphazela imeko yengqondo, ihlala ixesha elide, eyenzeka emntwini njengesiphumo seemvakalelo ezimenza afumane okuthile okanye umntu othile.

Ukuyichaza ngenye indlela

Ukuyicacisa ngokulula nangokufutshane: Ukujongana nemeko entsha, umzekelo, ingqayi yeentyatyambo sele iza kuwa entlokweni yethu esitratweni, impendulo yothusho lwethuku ivela ngaphandle kokuyiqonda, ekhawulezileyo kwinto eza kwenzeka. Oko impendulo yokuqala, sinokuthi yimvakalelo, engazi nto kwaphela.

Nje ukuba le mpendulo idolo yenzeke, siqala Hlalutya imeko ngeengcinga ezinolwazi, kwenzeke ntoni kuthi. Kule meko kwaye uqhubeke nomzekelo wengqayi yeentyatyambo, banokuba ngumzekelo: Kutheni mna? (eya kuthi ibangele ukuba sityhafe okanye sibe lusizi), Ngethamsanqa khange andinike (okusizisela uvuyo kunye / okanye isiqabu), Ngubani oyiphosileyo le Pot? (Ukucaphuka, umsindo), njl.

Ezi ngcinga zinxulunyaniswa nemvakalelo yokuqala kwaye bagqiba ukuyiguqula, baguqula indlela yokuqala yokuphendula eyothusayo yokuqala, kwaye oko kuxhomekeke kwinto oyicingayo, iya kwahluka ukuyongamela okwenzekileyo, isiqabu kwinto engenzekanga okanye ingqumbo kulowo unoxanduva. Le mpendulo yesibini, eguqulwe ziingcinga ezaziwayo, yimvakalelo.

Iimvakalelo zezethuku kwaye zenzeka ngokukhawuleza, kwaye iimvakalelo ziyazi kwaye ihlala ixesha elide.

Le nkcazo (nangona umzekelo ngowam, inkcazo ayisiyiyo), yile inikwe yi-Portuguese neurologist UAntonio Damasio, kwaye yamkelwe luluntu lwamanye amazwe.

Ukudibana ngokweemvakalelo

Abantu nezinja babelana a Ubume bengqondo obubizwa ngokuba yi-limbic system. Ndiza kuthatha inkcazo kwiWikipedia:

Inkqubo ye-limbic yinkqubo eyenziwe ngamacandelo ahlukeneyo obuchopho alawula iimpendulo zomzimba kukhuthazo lweemvakalelo. Inxulumene nememori, ingqalelo, iIimvakalelo zesondo, iimvakalelo (umz. Ukonwaba, uloyiko, ukuba ndlongondlongo), ubuntu kunye nokuziphatha. Yenziwe ngamalungu e-thalamus, hypothalamus, hippocampus, amygdala, corpus callosum, septum, kunye ne-midbrain.
Inkqubo ye-limbic inxibelelana ngokukhawuleza okukhulu (kwaye ngokucacileyo ngaphandle kwesidingo sokulamla kubume bengqondo ephezulu) ngenkqubo ye-endocrine kunye nenkqubo ye-autonomic nervous.

Oku kukodwa yinto yokudibanisa enkulu kunye nezilwanyana zethu, kuba iyasivumela ukuba senze utoliko (soloko sigcina imigama ethile) malunga nendlela abaziva ngayo, malunga neemvakalelo zabo, ngokusebenzisa ilungu elinye lobuchopho ukutolika iimvakalelo.

Oko kumenza akwazi ukuyenza naye, Oko kukuthi, inja yethu inokuchaza iimvakalelo zethu, kwaye usabele ngokufanelekileyo. Olu luxhomekeko lweemvakalelo esilufumanayo nezilwanyana zethu kwaye apho sinxibelelana khona nazo, sisebenzisa iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zazo.

Emva kwexesha ndiya kunaba kwesi sihloko. Ngoku ndiza kuthetha nawe ngabantu ababini endibathandayo, kakhulu, ngomsebenzi wabo kunye nendlela abazisa ngayo kulo mbandela. Bazi UGregory Bens noKevin Behan. Kwaye ndiza kuchaza ukuba kutheni.

UGregory Bens kunye nenja yakhe baqokelela kwindawo yokusithela

UGregory bens yingcali yemithambo-luvo evela kwiYunivesithi yaseEmory, eAtlanta. Olunye lwezifundo zakhe lubonisa, kuvavanyo lwesikena se-MRI kwizinja ezininzi, oko izinja zinomsebenzi wobuchopho ofana kakhulu nalowo wabantu kwingqondo yakho yeemvakalelo kwisikhuthazo esithile.

Uvavanyo kwakunzima ukuluqhuba, kuba bekungafanelekanga ukwenza iskeni kunye nenja ehleliyo, ukuba akunjalo, ukuze ndenze iscan, kuye kwafuneka ndiyazise inja ngaphakathi kuyo kwaye ndiyenze ihambe ityhubhu ide ifike kwindawo apho intloko ibilungisiwe ubuncinci imizuzwana engama-30, zonke zineendebe zokukhusela iindlebe ukukhusela iindlebe zakho ezibuthathaka kwii-decibel ezingama-95 zesandi. Kwakungeyondlwan 'iyanetha, njengokuba ubona. Ngenxa yoku wayenoncedo lwe UMark Spivak, utitshala we-canine owayenguye ophumeleleyo Callie kunye nezinye izinja ezili-11, zifezekisile.

Kolu vavanyo, ukulunga kwe- Ugqirha Bens, ithathe oku kulandelayo isiphelo:

Umsebenzi kwizinja 'caudate unyukile ngokuphendula kwimiqondiso yezandla ebonisa ukutya, ivumba eliqhelekileyo lomntu, kunye nokubuya komnini. Ngaba ezi ziphumo zibonisa ukuba izinja ziyasithanda? Unotshe. Kodwa uninzi lwezinto ezifanayo ezenza i-nucleus ye-caudate yomntu, enxulunyaniswa neemvakalelo ezilungileyo, nayo iyasebenza kwinja ye-caudate. Iingcali ze-Neuroscientists zibiza oku njenge-homology esebenzayo, kwaye inokuba luphawu lweemvakalelo zecanine.

Ukusuka kufundo lwe Ugqirha Bens singafikelela kwisigqibo sokuba izinja zineemvakalelo nakulawulo abazenzayo kwinqanaba lokuqonda kwabo, iimvakalelo ziyavela.

Ngaba le homology sele ikhona yanele ukuqinisekisa ukuba izinja ziziva zivuya njengabantu? Ngokucacileyo akunjalo, nangona kunjalo iyakubonisa oko Ingqondo yakho isebenza kakhulu ngathi.

Oku, kunye nenyaniso yokuba sinoluhlobo olufanayo lweseti yamalungu e-cerebral njengenkqubo ye-limbic eyayibizwa ngaphambili, apho abantu befumana iimvakalelo, isenza sibe Unxibelelwano phakathi kweentlobo ezimbini ngokwahlukileyo kwindalo.

UKevin Behan kunye nokunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo

ukuba UKevin Behan, owayesakuba ngamapolisa kunye nemikhosi ekhethekileyo yokuqeqesha izinja, ukuqonda kuxhomekeke kwiimvakalelo, Oko kuthetha ukuba inja ifumana ulwazi kunye nesimo sengqondo kwinqanaba leemvakalelo.

Ngokutsho kevin:

Izinja ezisebenzisanayo nomntu aziphenduli koko kuthethwa ngumphathi, kodwa koko ziqondwa ngumphathi. Oku kungenxa yonxibelelwano lweemvakalelo olukhoyo phakathi kwezi ntlobo zimbini. Olu nxibelelwano luhamba ngakumbi kunokuba uninzi lukholelwa.

UKevin Behan Unencwadi, Inja yakho, isipili sakho, apho iphonononga ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nenjaUkushiya indlela yesiko esekwe kulungiso olunyanzelekileyo kunye nokungena ngokupheleleyo kwiCognitive-Emotional Education, indlela ayibiza ngendalo apho ubukrelekrele kunye nemfundo yeemvakalelo yomntu kunye nenja zii-protagonists zonxibelelwano olukhoyo phakathi kwezi zimbini.

Iziseko zobukrelekrele bemvakalelo

Olu manyano, olu nxibelelwano sithetha ngalo ngabantu abafana nathi UGeorge, uKevin okanye mna, isondele kakhulu kubukrelekrele boMoya othetha ngabo UDaniel Goleman, kunye nabo imiba eyahlukeneyo okanye iintlobo, ezinje ngokuziQaphela, ukuzilawula, ukukhuthaza, uvelwano kunye nezakhono kwezentlalo.

Masibacacise kancinci:

• UkuzaziIsivumela ukuba siqonde ezethu iimvakalelo, kwaye siziqonde kunye nemo yengqondo, iimpembelelo kunye nefuthe lazo kwabanye.
• UkuzilawulaYiyo esivumela ukuba silawule kwaye siqondise kwakhona imeko yengqondo kunye neempembelelo. Yile nxalenye yethu ecinga ngaphambi kokwenza.
• IsizathuYimpembelelo ebangela ukuba sishukumise ngovuselelo oluthile. Oku kuqhuba kuko kusenza sithande into ethile, kusenze sizinikele kuyo, kwaye sihlale sinethemba malunga nokusilela.
• UvelwanoKukukwazi ukuqonda nokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye, kunye nokulinganisa indlela esisabela ngayo kubo.
• Izakhono zentlalo: Lubungcali ekwakheni uthungelwano lwasentlalweni kunye nobudlelwane, kunye nokufumana iindawo eziqhelekileyo nabanye abantu kunye nokwenza uvelwano.

Nangona zonke ezi ntlobo zezakhono ngaphakathi kobukrelekrele bemvakalelo zibalulekile, zezimbini zokugqibela apho ziqala khona yenza ubudlelwane bemvakalelo phakathi kwendoda nenja, ngaphandle kokushiya inkuthazo kude ngasemva. Kwaye makhe ndichaze.

Xa sidibana nenjana okokuqala, yethu izakhono zentlalo kunye novelwano lwethu ludlala. Uvelwano yinto esenza siqonde ukuba injana injani kwaye ifuna ntoni, ngelixa izakhono zethu kwezentlalo ziya kusinceda senze indawo efanayo nesilwanyana, nokuba sesomzuzwana, apho kukhuselekile kwaye kumnandi ukunxibelelana nazo zombini.

Oku kuyakuthetha ukuba ukuba injana ayigonywanga, asiyishiyi phantsi esitratweni ukunqanda ukosuleleka okungafunekiyo okanye sikhangele indawo ekhuselekileyo neyonwabisayo apho inokudlala ngokukhuselekileyo. Y kulapho inkuthazo ingena khona.

Kule meko, ukhuseleko kunye nemfuno yenjana yokudlala iya kuvelisa isikhuthazo esiza kusiguqulela kwinkuthazo, eya kusenza sibe nesimo sengqondo esithile nokuziphatha ukwazi ukufezekisa injongo esiphawule inkuthazo eveliswe ziimfuno zenjana.

Konke oku kuya kusenza siqale phuhlisa unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo kunye nesilwanyana ukuba siza kuphonononga ngokuzenzekelayo ukusuka ekuzaziseni nasekuzilawuleni, kuvelwano, ukulawula ukufumanisa ngaphakathi kuthi iimvakalelo esizivelisayo sisilwanyana nokuzilawula ngokufanelekileyo.

Oku kwenza ulwalamano lwethu naye lusekelwe kwiimvakalelo, Ukucamngca ngakumbi kunye nokuqhubeka, kuneemvakalelo, ngokukhawuleza nangokwemvelo. Ezi mvakalelo zingundoqo ekubeni nolwalamano olusempilweni nolulungileyo.

Oku kusichaza ngendlela esondeleyo, apho ukudibana / unxibelelwano phakathi kwamadoda nezinja kuzalwa ngokokubona kwethu, okomntu. Nangona kunjalo, Inja yethu iyifumana njani? Ziphose kuyo…

Inja yam iyandithanda

Izinja ziyavuya kwaye zivakalelwa. Lo ngumbono ocacileyo ngakumbi kum ngeminyaka yobudlelwane kunye nabo. Izinja zizilwanyana zentlalo, kwaye kwiqela labo, ipakethi, bamisela zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu abohlukeneyo abayenzayo. Obu budlelwane bubaluleke kakhulu kubo, kuba bafunda kubo, banxibelelana nabo kwaye bazive bebotshelelwe entweni, ebaluleke ngakumbi kunabo, umhlambi.

Lo mhlambi yindlela abadibana ngayo, njengokuba usapho lunjalo kuthi. Ngaphakathi kuyo, ubukrelekrele bemvakalelo bamalungu ayo, kwiinkalo zayo ezahlukeneyo, kubalulekile, kuba umanyano kunye namandla eqela lixhomekeke kuyo. Eli ziko liyimfuneko ekusindisweni kweqela, eliya kuba yenye yezona zinto zishukumisayo zamalungu ahlukeneyo epakethe evela kwiinjana. Njengoko sele sibonile, nantsi iyaqala qalisa ukusebenza Ubukrelekrele boMvakalelo, okanye enye yeenkalo zayo, inkuthazo.

Ngaphakathi kweqela, izakhono ezinje uvelwano, izakhono zentlalo kunye nokuzilawula, Zibalulekile ekusebenzeni ngokuchanekileyo ngaphakathi kwayo, kuba ukumanyana kwazo kuya kuxhomekeka kuzo kwaye ziya kuba yinxalenye yeempawu zokuzazisa ezizuzwe njengelifa ngamalungu amatsha ekuqhubekekeni komhlambi kuxhomekeke kakhulu kwindidi.

Kuxhomekeka kwezi zakhono zentlalo indlela ukusonjululwa kwengxabano baya kuba neqela. Ngaphakathi komhlambi apho izakhono zentlalo, uvelwano kunye nokuzilawula zisetyenziswa ngokuchanekileyo ngawo onke amalungu omhlambi, iya kuba namandla kunomhlambi apho indlela yokusombulula iimbambano kungobundlobongela.

Emhlambini, umzobo wenkokeli yeyona nto iphumelelayo ukwenzakalisa umzobo womphathi, ongumfanekiso wegunya esihlala siliphatha kwicandelo losapho lomntu.

Ngaphakathi kosapho, kukho ulawulo oluphezulu apho igunya izibonakalisa ngophawu lwentloko yosapho. Ngaphakathi kobu bukhosi, kolu lawulo losapho, kuyakubakho umntu onegunya kunye nolawulayo, oya kuba negunya lokwenza izigqibo ngaphakathi kweqela, ngesiqhelo umntu omkhulu oyindoda.

Ndikufumanisa kunomdla ukufumana apho avela khona amagama, ingcambu ye-etymological:

Igama elithi usapho livela kwisiLatin famīlia, "iqela leeserfs kunye namakhoboka patrimony yentloko yejen", yona ethathwe kwifamŭlus, "isicaka, ikhoboka", ethi yona iphume kwi-Osco (ulwimi) eyaziwayo. Eli xesha lavula intsimi yalo yokubandakanya umfazi kunye nabantwana beentsapho ze-pater, ababengababo ngokusemthethweni. Ngokwesiko, igama elithi famŭlus, kunye nemibandela ehambelana nayo, linxulunyaniswe neengcambu zeendlala ("indlala"), ukuze ilizwi libhekisele kwiseti yabantu abatya kunye kwindlu enye kwaye abo paterfamilias banembopheleleko yoku ifidi.

Kumhlambi, izinto zisebenza ngokwahlukileyo. Inkokeli ayinguye umphathi wegunya, yiyo ebeka umzekelo. Inkokeli, iyakhathala kwaye iyakhusela Eli qela kwaye liqhele ukuba lelona lizwi linxibelelana kakuhle, hayi elona ndlongondlongo okanye elinegunya. Inkokeli sisikhokelo kunye nomzekelo kwamanye amalungu eqela, abo bonke bazalisekisa indima echaziweyo ngaphakathi kwepakethi. Izinja kweli nqanaba zisebenza ngokwahlukileyo.

Ukuhlalutya kwakhona ingcambu ye-etymological yegama elithi Manada:

Igama elithi umhlambi livela kwigama lesandla, kwaye livela kwimenyu yesiLatin. Eli gama, alithethi kuphela ngesandla, kodwa namandla, ngakumbi amandla ngaphezulu kwento esandleni sakho okanye kwinto onayo. Nangona kunjalo, ngesiLatin, ikwabhekisa kwisandla okanye iseti yezinto onokuzisebenzisa, zisetyenziswe ngokufuziselayo kwiqela lamadoda (iqela) okanye iqela lezilwanyana, kungoko igama elithi umhlambi.

Kubo, ukunxulumana nabanye abantu kwipakethi, nangona kusekwe kubuchule obufanayo obuvela kwi-Emotional Intelligence, ayijoliswanga ukuziqhelanisa neemfuno zomntu, kangako ukuziqhelanisa neemfuno zeqela, Kuxhomekeka ekubeni ziphi, ngokuhamba kwexesha.

Ke ngoko, inja yethu iyayifumana ukudibana nathi, ukusuka kwicala elinemvakalelo ngakumbi kunye nethuku, apho unokukhawuleza uqaphele iimfuno zeqela okanye abantu abazibhalayo.

Izigqibo

Zombini izinja nabantu zizilwanyana zentlalo, esabelana ngazo kwizinto ezifanayo kwingqondo yethu, njengeendlela zokonwaba nokuziva. Oku kunokwenzeka ngamawaka eminyaka yokuziphendukela kwemvelo ekwabelwanayo, ukufezekisa unxibelelwano phakathi kwezi ntlanga zimbini zineempawu kunye neempawu ekusafuneka ziphononongwe.

Ngaba inja yam iyandithanda njengoko ndiyithandayo?

Ewe, lo mbuzo ngokwawo, kude nefilosofi, ndithetha ngokoqobo ndiyathetha, ayinampendulo ilula. Ngaba ndifuna okufanayo nawe? Ngaba amadoda nabafazi bafuna okufanayo? Ukunika omnye umzekelo obonisa ngakumbi, sazi njani ukuba sibona iblue efanayo?

Emngciphekweni wokuba ndingaqondakali, ndifuna ukumilisela umbono wokuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, kwimeko yovakalelo neemvakalelo, Kusekuninzi ekufuneka sikwenze uphandoKe ngoko, ngokuqinisekileyo akuqinisekanga. Nangona kunjalo, sineempendulo ezinjengezi ndizichazile ngasentla, kwaye sinokufikelela kwizigqibo ezithile kubo.

Ukuthetha ngakumbi malunga nokudibana phakathi kwendoda kunye nezinja, yi Unxibelelwano olwenziwe kwicandelo leemvakalelo, kwaye loo nto ineeyantlukwano ezisengqiqweni esekwe phakathi kweentlobo kunye nabantu, kwaye zichaphazeleka kakhulu kwimfundo nakumava abaye bawafumana.

Olu manyano lweemvakalelo lusekeka ukuhanjiswa okuthe rhoqo kweentlobo zonke ze amava, iimvakalelo kunye neenjongo (phakathi kwezinye izinto), kuxhomekeke kwimeko yonxibelelwano (ukuba ilungile okanye yonakele) kwaye kulula kangakanani kubo ukuba baziqonde kwaye bazilawule ngokwabantu, kunye nezinye.

Ngaphakathi kobudlelwane obusempilweni nobulungileyo phakathi kwaba babini, Kulula ukuphatha umntu ukuphatha inja, kuba kukho ibhalansi esekwe kulawulo lweemvakalelo ezilungileyo, into ethatha isigqibo ngaphakathi homeostasis, kakhulu okanye ngaphezulu kwento ebonakalayo.

Ngaphandle kokuqhubeka, ndiyathemba ukuba ulithandile eli nqaku ngendlela endiyibhalileyo ngayo, kwaye iyakunceda ekusombululeni amathandabuzo athile anokuvela, kwaye ke, ukuba nawuphina umbuzo owenzekayo kuwe uza kudluliselwa kum, kwaye izakuyiphendula ngokukhawuleza.

Enkosi kakhulu ngokundifunda kwaye kude kube lixesha elizayo.

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